One of the common misconceptions about Defender Ministries is that it strictly deals with pornography. That was the impetus for founding the ministry. But as time passed and the ministry expanded, it became obvious that pornography was a symptom. And it could not be separated from many other symptoms. Pornography usage was fueled by lust and made worse by immodest behavior. It led to sexual activity. It wrecked ministries and families. It created a warped view of sex. And it was introduced through, exacerbated by, and intensified through technological advances.
In many ways, it felt like a doctor in a critical care unit trying to figure out what was going on with a crashing patient. Many unique, but intertwined, symptoms were presenting themselves. Treating all those symptoms may bring some minor relief – but it was temporary. Nothing would stick if the main disease was not treated. That was when we realized we had to change how we taught and approached our ministry.
From the very beginning, the problems with intimacy was the heart of the ministry. But that was not always communicated in our lessons. There was so much to cover about computer usage and dating practices (and much more) that it was easy to lose sight of the core problem. Intimacy had to be fixed. People needed to understand THAT was the disease – everything else was a manifestation of that illness.
So we began to start every lesson the same way. In Genesis, we see God created mankind. He created us with four elements – physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual. These four elements intertwined and worked together – but they also were separate in needs and actions. God related to Adam and Eve in each of those elements. Physically, God walked with man through the Garden. Emotionally, there was a connection as they talked. God and man had a friendship and close relationship. And spiritually, it was clear that God was the Creator to be worshipped and adored.
God created man in His image – in the image of the Trinity. When we see the Trinity (God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit), we see a beautiful picture of the four elements. God represented the Spiritual, Jesus stood for Physical, the Holy Spirit equalled Emotional, and the Three interacted in the Relational element.
The incredible thing is that God did indeed create man in His image. You can see the same picture of the four elements in a marriage. God represents the Spiritual, the Man is more Physical, the Woman is more Emotional, and they interact in the Relational. It was exactly as it should be.
But, Satan entered the Garden. He didn’t force the people to do anything, merely presented with the opportunity to fail. He led Eve to question God’s Message – “Did God really say you would DIE?” Then he led her to question God’s Meaning – “Did He really mean DIE? He couldn’t have meant really DIE.” Then he led her to question God’s Motive – “You aren’t going to die. He just doesn’t want you to be wise like Him.” Eve took the fruit and ate it. Adam, who was right there, ate as well. He failed in tending the Garden and protecting Eve – he should have driven out the snake. So both of them were wrong and both sinned.
Intimacy was broken. It was broken with God. And it was broken between the spouses – as Adam immediately tried to blame Eve for the error. From that point on, things would never be the same. And they won’t until Heaven. The need for intimacy never went away – just the ability to find it.
Satan was more than willing to help. So he offered dozens of counterfeits to try to fill that “God shaped vacuum in our soul.” He offered illicit sex, pornography, lust, dating, technology. Those things are all ways to try to reclaim intimacy. And they are all false. It all goes back to that desire for a truly intimate and transparent relationship.
Realizing that these various topics can be traced back to a desire for intimacy makes it easier to see that treating this disease is really a heart issue. Parents will often be frustrated at the failure of their security options. As we tell them, you can lock down your entire computer and home, but that child will find a way if they want to. It is their heart you can’t lock down.
Over the years, we have met with churches who wanted to know what exactly our program would do. What were the numbers? What is the success rate? What is the quick fix, the easy pledge, the software to install? We try to explain that this is more than taking a pill and the nightmare ending. Just like treating an aggressive disease like cancer, this is a long process involving multiple approaches. And there is not an easily quantifiable result. It is a slow process of changing a heart.
When a person boils water, it usually just involves putting a pot of water on the stove and turning on the element. But the chemistry that goes on beyond the scenes is so much more. It takes a certain amount of heat to raise the temperature of the water. As the water approaches the boiling point (212 degrees Fahrenheit at sea level), energy is poured into the water. But the water will sit there at that temperature for a while before it actually boils. The water must break through the Vaporization Point. Energy keeps pouring into the water – the temperature doesn’t raise at this stage. Instead the energy will finally allow the water to break that barrier and start boiling.
This is a useful analogy when looking at the heart of a person – especially a child or teenager. We can pour all the energy possible into them. We teach them and model things and set up protective guardians. We love them and answer their questions and read them Bible verses. We send them to camp and have them sit through church and buy them the right music. But we can only take them to that Vaporization Point. At that point, it takes what Henry Blackaby calls a “Crisis of Faith.” This is something that makes them really question what they believe and if they are serious.
At that moment, all of that energy we poured into that person can break through finally. They embrace the change. Their heart is altered and they are willing to do something on their own. It could be a teenager making their faith personal, instead of adopting their parents’ beliefs. Or it could be an addict finally facing their struggles and deciding to do something about it. Finally, the Truth broke through and the heart could be healed.
It may seem like a long and frustrating process, to wait for someone to come to the moment of surrender. But every little thing we do – every lesson, every question, every testimony, every safeguard, every teaching opportunity – it all creates an avalanche of love that makes all the difference. Nothing was wasted.
That is why it is crucial to establish defenses for the heart. That is the true battleground. That is where change must take place. At Defender Ministries, we try to help parents, teachers, pastors, students see this. We try to equip people with tools to rescue and defend the hearts of those they love. When you finally see someone break through into a new life, it is easy to recognize that no amount of energy and effort was too much – it will all be worth it. Victory always is.